This post is the first in a series I’m calling “YouTube.” Each post will be about a YouTube channel that I watch. It may also be about how content on YouTube is different than other streaming video content. 

Sam The Cooking Guy is one of my go-to YouTube channels that I watch before I got to bed every night. It’s just this guy named Sam Zien who shows you how to cook one or more dishes, often in his San Diego back yard. His son Max operates the camera and Max’s wife Jilly (AKA “slutbong”) records the audio. The food is sometimes healthy, everyday fare that you might make at home regularly. But it can also be very over-the-top, fatty food porn also.

Sam himself owns a nearby restaurant called Not Not Tacos. He sometimes takes viewers on trips there to grab a missing ingredient or to use their kitchen equipment. He also forgets things. A lot. Like he forgets an ingredient. Or forgets an entire component of a dish. Or forgets that something is in the oven. Sometimes he even holds things up to the camera and asks Max “what is this called?” I have often wondered if the man needs to see a neurologist.

Sam burns himself a lot on camera. It’s quite common to hear him say “ow! ow! OW!” at least once an episode. Often this is near the end of the show where he is assembling a dish using food he has just removed from a blazing hot cooking surface. He also burns himself by eating food that is too hot. It is very common for me to yell at the TV saying “don’t fucking eat that you idiot, it’s too hot!” But he eats it anyway and I watch him dance around making faces as he somehow manages to choke down the mouthful of molten whatever.

Sam has some strange cooking habits. By his own admission he did not learn to cook in culinary school. America’s Test Kitchen this ain’t. For starters, he often seasons things at the end rather than at the usual spots in the process. Like, when you aromatics into a hot pan do you not add a dash of salt? Of course you do because that’s what trained cooks on TV do. Not Sam. He’ll complete an entire dish (say, chili) and only add salt and pepper at the very end.

Sam also has an unhealthy relationship with mayonnaise. First, he uses way too much of it and puts it on just about everything. Second, and maybe this can be forgiven because I have not tried it, he insists on using Kewpie mayonnaise, a Japanese mayo made with only egg yolks instead of whole eggs.

The man also has unflattering temper issues. It’s uncomfortable to watch him yell at the neighbor’s dog, for example. He also constantly complains about other noises in his backyard such as the neighbor’s gardeners or passing aircraft. There is a strange disconnect between the level of disturbance actually caused by the barking dog or lawnmower and the level of anger he displays about it. Often the only reason I know that there is a barking dog because he’s yelling at it. Sam gets angry at Max, too, sometimes. Often this is about Max asking Sam to do things a certain way for the benefit of the camera.

Each episode ends with Sam taking a bite of whatever it is he just made. Just before he tells you that it’s the best X he’s ever had, he will pick up a roll of paper towels and wipe his mouth with it. Yeah. The whole roll. This is one of a handful of things I would lobby to change, were I working on this show. One small stack of side towels could elevate the show enormously.

Maybe you’re wondering why I watch this show since I criticize it so much. The truth is, I like the show! I watch it pretty much every evening. YouTube is a quirky medium, full of shows with low production values produced by amateurs. A professional TV producer would quickly end the temper tantrums and the paper towel thing. But on YouTube there are no such people to smooth over the rough edges. It is what it is–and I like it.